Dementia Patients: Why Lying Isn’t So Bad

They say when you are faced with caring for a family member with dementia, your whole world changes. From the way you interact and socialize with them, to the way you care for them, all aspects of your relationship are altered. Nurturing for someone with the disease brings a whole new set of challenges. Adapting overnight isn’t always that easy. Reading about the disease and learning from others who have gone through similar situations is the key to finding a happy medium.

Dementia, as most know, is a general term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life, according the Alzheimer’s Association. Dementia is not the disease itself, it is the term used to encompass all of the symptoms associated with the decline of ones memory. Memory loss, losing the ability to pay attention and having trouble communicating are just some of the many symptoms.

A recent article released by dailycaring.com focuses on the truth about dementia and why ‘therapeutic fibbing’ is an OK when used to deal with patients suffering from memory loss. A lot of times, patients have difficulties remembering present-day information, but can remember as far back as their childhood. In the below example from the article, WHY EXPERTS RECOMMEND LYING TO SOMEONE WITH DEMENTIA, you will see how the dementia patient is transporting their mind to a previous version of themselves. The caregiver, rather than try to bring them up to present day, is suggested to play along and distract them.

1. Being completely truthful
Your mom: School is over. My mommy is coming to pick me up now. I need to go outside to wait for her!

You: You’re 89 years old. You haven’t been to school in decades. And don’t you remember that your mom died 25 years ago? You don’t need to go outside because nobody is coming to pick you up.

Your mom: What? What do you mean my mom is dead? No! She can’t be dead!! I saw her this morning! She told me she would pick me up!!! I need to go outside to wait!! (She’s crying, agitated, and screaming.)

2. Using therapeutic fibbing
Your mom: School is over. My mommy is coming to pick me up now. I need to go outside to wait for her!

You: Oh yes, it’s almost time to go. Your mom asked me to give you a snack first so you won’t get hungry on the way home. Let’s have some juice and crackers.

Your mom: Ok, I’ll have a snack.

You: (Use this distraction as an opportunity to occupy her with the snack and a fun activity until she lets go of the idea of meeting her mother.)

This example is a prime day-to-day interaction with someone who suffers from memory loss. To read the entire article, click here, and make sure to visit HGSeniorLiving.com to learn about our Memory Care Facility and how we can care for your loved one.